Poor Barsabas--I wonder about him.
Although he lost the disciple lottery, his story should be recalled.
In the book of
Acts, the disciples were in a kosher pickle. They were Jewish members of
a fledgling sect floundering within Judaism. Their movement was on the
verge of being snuffed out by history.
Their leader,
Jesus of Nazareth, had been executed by Roman soldiers as if he were
a common criminal. Indeed, according to Torah tradition, Jesus
was cursed because he had died on a tree.
It got worse.
Their treasurer, Judas Iscariot, had secretly turned Jesus over to the
authorities for money. He committed
suicide after Jesus died.
Think of it: two
deaths within the inner circle of a tiny sect. Such is the story.
As so often
happens, leaders emerged. One was named James. He was Jesus'
brother. The other, named Peter, became so famous he has been called the
first Pope.
Incidentally, Roman soldiers murdered
James and Peter too. In fact, Roman
soldiers killed nearly all of the earliest leaders in the movement.
Peter did not
come without baggage. After Jesus was
arrested, Peter had been asked by others if he knew Jesus. According to
tradition, Peter denied ever knowing Jesus at all.
The other
disciples were just as cowardly. They ran off after Jesus was arrested.
It seems odd to
me that Peter's first act as the leader of the movement was to declare that
someone should replace Judas. Who would
want to follow that act?
"And they
put forth two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias."
Between the two
men, Barsabas and Matthias, a new disciple would be selected via casting of
lots.
Casting lots was a form of cleromancy. People tossed bones, small tablets of wood,
or colored stones on the ground or in water for the purpose of divining the
will of a god.
In this case,
the disciples wanted Jesus to choose, since Jesus chose the original Twelve.
Poor Barsabas--I
wonder about him. I imagine him standing next to Matthias, waiting for
the lot to be cast.
Was he secretly hoping Jesus would
choose him? Was he feeling guilty for having such a thought? Was he
wondering why Jesus didn't just appear and tell them whether or not he actually
wanted a replacement? Did he want one? Not more?
Barsabas lost.
He was no longer mentioned in the Christian Bible although Christian tradition
makes him a bishop and a martyr.
Ditto Matthias.
So what did
Barsabas do? We may never know. Did he leave and serve Jesus
elsewhere? If he was literate, and the chances were he was not, did he
write about his faith? Did he serve others the way Jesus did and
preached? Did he forge a personal
theology? Did he wait for a council to
tell him what his theology should be?
I often wonder
about Barsabas. I imagine him being a church unto himself, living in the
world, creating church wherever he went. He became one particle
of God's kingdom wherein love, peace, kindness, mercy, and justice arose.
Were I to pick a personal saint,
Barsabas would be mine.
After the fundamentalists swallowed up the Southern Baptist Convention
like a pill, it became a stimulant for them.
The seminaries transformed into bastions
of cult ignorance, the churches into fortresses of superstition, and I went
elsewhere.
I began to home-church. I wanted to teach the controversy about the Source
Theory; the primacy of the Gospel of Mark and Q; the voice of God in lore,
poetry, and stories; and the unveiling of a deep and abiding agreement between
science and theology.
I wanted to study and teach the Bible in
order to discover the way of God for all of us in this world.
The way of love, loving enemies and
unknown others, loving kindness and mercy, and loving justice—all that is the
way of God for all of us.
Does this, my first post ever, give
enough of a glimpse for you to see that I am someone who has and is never
leaving God?
