Never Leaving God

Poor Barsabas--I wonder about him. Although he lost the disciple lottery, his story should be recalled.

In the book of Acts, the disciples were in a kosher pickle.  They were Jewish members of a fledgling sect floundering within Judaism.  Their movement was on the verge of being snuffed out by history.  

Their leader, Jesus of Nazareth, had been executed by Roman soldiers as if he were a common criminal.  Indeed, according to Torah tradition, Jesus was cursed because he had died on a tree.  

It got worse.  Their treasurer, Judas Iscariot, had secretly turned Jesus over to the authorities for money.  He committed suicide after Jesus died.

Think of it: two deaths within the inner circle of a tiny sect. Such is the story.

As so often happens, leaders emerged.  One was named James.  He was Jesus' brother.  The other, named Peter, became so famous he has been called the first Pope.

Incidentally, Roman soldiers murdered James and Peter too.  In fact, Roman soldiers killed nearly all of the earliest leaders in the movement.

Peter did not come without baggage.  After Jesus was arrested, Peter had been asked by others if he knew Jesus.  According to tradition, Peter denied ever knowing Jesus at all.  

The other disciples were just as cowardly.  They ran off after Jesus was arrested.      

It seems odd to me that Peter's first act as the leader of the movement was to declare that someone should replace Judas.  Who would want to follow that act?

"And they put forth two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias."

Between the two men, Barsabas and Matthias, a new disciple would be selected via casting of lots.

Casting lots was a form of cleromancy.  People tossed bones, small tablets of wood, or colored stones on the ground or in water for the purpose of divining the will of a god.  

In this case, the disciples wanted Jesus to choose, since Jesus chose the original Twelve. 

Poor Barsabas--I wonder about him.  I imagine him standing next to Matthias, waiting for the lot to be cast.  

Was he secretly hoping Jesus would choose him?  Was he feeling guilty for having such a thought?  Was he wondering why Jesus didn't just appear and tell them whether or not he actually wanted a replacement?  Did he want one?  Not more? 

Barsabas lost.  He was no longer mentioned in the Christian Bible although Christian tradition makes him a bishop and a martyr.  

Ditto Matthias.  

So what did Barsabas do?  We may never know.  Did he leave and serve Jesus elsewhere?  If he was literate, and the chances were he was not, did he write about his faith?  Did he serve others the way Jesus did and preached?  Did he forge a personal theology?  Did he wait for a council to tell him what his theology should be? 

I often wonder about Barsabas.  I imagine him being a church unto himself, living in the world, creating church wherever he went.  He became one particle of God's kingdom wherein love, peace, kindness, mercy, and justice arose.

Were I to pick a personal saint, Barsabas would be mine.

After the fundamentalists swallowed up the Southern Baptist Convention like a pill, it became a stimulant for them. 

The seminaries transformed into bastions of cult ignorance, the churches into fortresses of superstition, and I went elsewhere.

I began to home-church.  I wanted to teach the controversy about the Source Theory; the primacy of the Gospel of Mark and Q; the voice of God in lore, poetry, and stories; and the unveiling of a deep and abiding agreement between science and theology. 

I wanted to study and teach the Bible in order to discover the way of God for all of us in this world.

The way of love, loving enemies and unknown others, loving kindness and mercy, and loving justice—all that is the way of God for all of us. 

Does this, my first post ever, give enough of a glimpse for you to see that I am someone who has and is never leaving God?